i started on a new mood stabilizer (trileptal) the other day and i am slooowly starting to feel less like a depressed zombie and more like shannon again but i’m still not quite there yet. i’m just trapped in this space between wanting to do things and not actually being physically able to do them and it’s really frustrating.
i am doing better, though, and the dose was just raised so here’s hoping i’ll keep seeing improvement!
i am so ridiculously depressed and my interstitial cystitis is flaring up like crazy someone please give me a hug
and i’m still hella depressed, but i figured it might be a good exercise to write a list like that. sleeping isn’t happening so i guess i’ll go play harvest moon. i really, really hope that today is significantly better than the past week has been, because i can’t take it anymore.
i just want a hug.
50 little things that make me happy.
- 1. my friends and my girlfriend.
- 2. when i get along with my sister(s).
- 3. hot chocolate all year round.
- 4. summer dresses.
- 5. sweater dresses.
- 6. music
- 7. joanna newsom
- 8. my eyelashes
- 9. overcoming my social anxiety
- 10. video games
- 11. anime
- 12. shipping all the dudes w/ all the dudes and shipping all the ladies w/ all the ladies
- 13. coming up with otp headcanon
- 14. frozen yogurt
- 15. feeling hopeful
- 16. one direction
- 17. being told “i love you”
- 18. staying up late talking to chels.
- 19. hanging out with chels and eirin and feeling like i fit in somewhere again.
- 20. final fantasy games.
- 21. seeing my cousins.
- 22. the piano.
- 23. samurai champloo.
- 24. drinking capri sun at age 19.
- 25. when i manage to sleep without having any nightmares.
- 26. the sound and smell of rain
- 27. chocolate
- 28. chinese food
- 29. pokemon
- 30. candles
- 31. sleeping together with chels over webcam.
- 32. waking up together with chels over webcam.
- 33. spending hours browsing pixiv.
- 34. getting notes on my tumblr edits.
- 35. my oneesama - and how safe and loved she makes me feel every single day.
- 36. messing around in photoshop.
- 37. pixar movies.
- 38. when my mom and sister are in a good mood.
- 39. terrible jrpgs
- 40. when people i have tumblr friendcrushes on follow me back.
- 41. my nintendo 64 (it still works perfectly!)
- 42. how much better i feel when i manage to wash my hair and shave and make myself feel a little more presentable
- 43. making chocolate chip muffins
- 44. spring/summer.
- 45. catching the ice cream man just to get a sno-cone.
- 46. reading a really good book.
- 47. long showers.
- 48. cute accessories, like hairclips and bows.
- 49. those rare times when i’m not in crazy pain.
- 50. you, if you actually read this.